Cliff's Notes

From May, 1995 (Update #24)

Are zebra mussels a true scourge of the earth? Or is too much being made of the problem? One of the most difficult problems of conducting public discussions on the subject is trying to decide whether or not to paint mussels as an unmitigated plague. Personally, I have mixed feelings. But one thing is certain. They're a perfect '90s creature: obtrusive, annoying, talented, successful and self- centered. Imagine millions of tiny Charles Barkleys coming to slam-dunk in your backyard and you get an idea of how irritating and strangely powerful they are. Now that zebra mussels are beginning to show up in inland Wisconsin lakes, I am continually asked how much we should be worrying. I answer frankly: Zebra mussels won't harm your health, eat your cat, shut down your beach or keep you from using your lake. They will annoy a lot of people. I mean, how amused would you be if Charles Barkley kept breaking your backboard, even if his basketball prowess is an awesome thing to behold? In their own way, zebra mussels are equally awesome. Nonetheless, we should do what we can to stop their spread at the same time that we get used to learning to live with them. Now doesn't that have a familiar '90s ring to it?

Big Mussel Contest GREEN BAY, Wis. - In the last newsletter I initiated a contest to find the largest zebra mussel and offered an incrusted soccer trophy as the prize. As a rule of thumb, anything less than 40 mm long will not be competitive. Zebra mussels should be sent to: ES-105, UW-Green Bay, Green Bay, WI 54311-7001. Please preserve them in alcohol or only include the shell.

ID: 199505-12.

The Zebra Mussel Update was a 4- to 8-page quarterly national newsletter published by the University of Wisconsin Sea Grant Institute from May 1990 through May 1997. The ZMU documented the spread of the zebra mussel -- an exotic nuisance mussel -- through North America's freshwater environments, especially the Great Lakes, and on efforts to control it.