Cliff's Notes

From January, 1996 (Update #26)

I knew something was up when he called across the locker room, "Hey, I heard on the radio that carp are going to get rid of your mussels." Moose is always ahead of the curve. A former professional baseball player, Moose and I talk about two things - zebra mussels and sports - and this conversation wasn't going to be about my pitching arm. Moose always alerts me when the public is getting a new zebra mussel-related pitch. Two years ago it was sponges. Before that it was red pepper in paint. Now it was carp. And once again, Moose was right. Within a week the story was in the local paper. Within a month it was in Newsweek, accorded the same importance as Yeltsin's health and Bosnian peace talks. It's amazing how quickly public attention is drawn to stories of salvation and harmony in nature. Zebra mussels being eaten by carp: nasty new immigrants getting beat up by the fish Americans love to hate. While the subject has merit (see related item in this newsletter) and deserves further exploration, the media should have taken a seventh inning stretch until more research is done. Madison's Wisconsin State Journal was so taken by the topic that a Sunday editorial concluded that "next time you catch a carp, don't kill it - toss it back. You just might be firing an important shot in the war against zebra mussels." In the spirit of Charley Brown, my only response is "Augghhhhh!!!!" I'm going to stick with the sports pages - until I can figure out how to fire an important shot in the war against stupid zebra mussel stories.

ID: 199601-14.

The Zebra Mussel Update was a 4- to 8-page quarterly national newsletter published by the University of Wisconsin Sea Grant Institute from May 1990 through May 1997. The ZMU documented the spread of the zebra mussel -- an exotic nuisance mussel -- through North America's freshwater environments, especially the Great Lakes, and on efforts to control it.